The self that I find in the mirror is no different than the character of Eeyore from the children's series Winnie the Poo. I sulk around life convinced that some ill is just about to fall me and even if it doesn't.. well shucks I have lost my tail anyhow. Nothing I can seem to do to knock myself out of the funk ever seems to have any staying power. For what it is I am an Eeyore sore of bloke.
The question I had as I was yet again at the place of realization this morning is how do we handle this as a follower of Christ? I have been like this as long as I have known me so did God create me like this? Was it nature that made this sullen failure seeker? Why am I destined to at least perceive everything as attacking me and causing me misery? Will my entire life be like this, a constant victim to someone's cruel game?
To be honest I am not to sure I have the answer for this. However I wanted to point out a couple things that came to mind as I was listening to a sermon on the way to work today. First let us explore the great commission that Jesus left for us. He commands us to all go out and increase the followers of Christ. This by its very wording doesn't exclude anyone. No matter what personality type of dysfunction you have you are to go. I would also have to note that the cross instead of being this heavy barge of tree seems to be lighter than the one I have convinced myself I am carrying. We are suppose to be at rest and peace when we are following God.
Now for those astute students out there I am sure you have already took note of the fact that I may very well be carrying a cross in my own power and not God's. I would most likely have to agree. The sort of person I seem to be loves suffering. With out this occurring what on Earth do we have the grounds to complain about after all right? Alas we can now finish up with the last component fog.
Anyone that has lived in this vile stuff knows the evil that it causes. You loose all ability to figure out where you are and when you use light to bring clarity it just makes everything a good deal worse. The question we must then ask ourselves is who exactly is creating this woe. We would love to blame the big red guy however is this truly the case? I submit that we often create a smokescreen ourselves to ensure our demise.
There would be a million reasons as to why we would be our worst enemy however I just wanted to investigate a couple of these. One possibility is that we actually desire the distraction. After all following God's will is not good for our sinful nature that we love to feed. The other is that we love the drama. As I mentioned if we do not have an enemy to fight and a reason to complain what it the reason that we are not following Jesus.
My challenge to you today is to get real with yourself. No matter if you are an Eeyore like me or not and lift the clouds that you may very well have created to confuse matters. Look at your life squarely and ask yourself if you are truly following Jesus. Are you fighting to ensure that you are doing your part of this relationship to be a spotless bride for the coming king? If not why not? I know I got some repenting to do. It you don't clear the fog and try again.
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